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a disturbing trend December 8, 2008

Posted by Sonia in Sass.
4 comments

Dear Miss Conduct,

It has become clear to me that before the year is out I will probably kill Ben Brown. MOST LIKELY the murder weapon will be a pink-handled kitchen knife though there is also some possibility that I will just grab whatever else is at hand (dish soap, pineapple, cheez-its). What can I do to stave off this escalating violence? It’s tough because he’s kind of a douche and deserves it — but it would be hard to cover up, and I’d probably incite the wrath of the thing atop the thing. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Sincerely,
Knifing in Knrovidence

salty pancakes. September 30, 2008

Posted by Sonia in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

I’m not a complete disaster as a cook, but due to sheer incompetence (an incompetence that spreads through the rest of my life!) I sometimes do really stupid things. One of those things: salty pancakes. This is not a euphemism or a joke; I actually made hideously salty pancakes last night.

Did I use tablespoons instead of teaspoons? Ah, if only it had been that innocuous. No. What I did was instead look at the measurement for baking powder and then put in that much salt. Conclusion: I made pancakes with five times as much salt as they needed.

Sonia: 0
Life: 458 million

But heyyy, does anyone want to come over for pancakes?

What’s Cooking at the Friends House August 30, 2008

Posted by Ben in Kitchen Confidential, Ritual Sacrifice.
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Anyone hungry? At the Friends House we like food. I just whipped up some sautéed chicken breast with a pan gravy made with Leffe. It came out really well, so I thought I’d share.

Sautéed Chicken with Belgian Beer Gravy

Note: Gravy is delicious and pretty easy to make. The only problem is that it’s hard to give exact measurements for the ingredients. When I’ve made this dish before, it’s usually come out to about 2 tablespoons of fat, 2 tablespoons of flour and 1 cup of liquid, and these proportions should give you a pretty good idea of how much of each ingredient you’ll need. However the exact measurements are going to vary from cook to cook and from day to day: play it by ear with the sauce.

Ingredients:

  • 1 medium white or yellow onion
  • 1/2 tsp minced garlic
  • Olive oil and butter (You can use just one or the other if you like, but in my opinion almost anything made in a pan is better if you use both.)
  • Sage
  • Rosemary
  • Salt and pepper
  • ~ 1 c flour
  • 1-1.5 lb boneless chicken breast
  • 1/2-1 c Belgian ale (A sweet, complex golden ale seems to work best: I used Leffe because it’s not too expensive and, more importantly, it’s what I had in my fridge.)
  • 1/2-1 c chicken broth

How to do it:

  1. Put a skillet over low-medium heat and add equal parts oil and butter. Add the garlic and a healthy dash of rosemary and sage. Add salt and pepper to taste. Let the butter brown for a bit.
  2. Add the onions and adjust the heat so that they’ll soften and sweeten up but won’t burn. Let them cook until they’ve just started to soften.
  3. Cut the chicken into manageable pieces. If you’ve got a really thick piece, consider cutting it in half to reduce the cooking time. Take about half a cup of flour and mix in some salt, pepper and sage. Gently coat the chicken in this mixture and add it to the skillet.
  4. Sautée the chicken until it’s white but still juicy in the middle (about 5-10 minutes for medium-thickness pieces, longer for thicker cuts). You may want to turn the heat up to medium just as you put the chicken in, then turn it back down to low-medium once you’ve browned the outside of the meat. It may also be helpful to cover the skillet once the chicken is browned in order to conserve heat and juices.
  5. Once the chicken is done, remove it from the skillet, leaving behind the juices, fat and onions. Set it aside while you make the gravy.
  6. To make the pan gravy, judge how much fat is left in the pan. It will probably be around 2 tablespoons. Keeping the heat at low-medium, add an equal amount of flour and stir well. You want as close to a one-to-one ratio of fat to flour as you can get. Cook the roux for about five minutes.
  7. Combine 1/2 cup chicken stock and 1/2 cup beer. Assuming you have 4 tablespoons of roux (plus the onions) in the skillet, you will want to add around one cup of liquid to make your gravy. Begin by slowly pouring the stock-beer mixture over the roux, then stirring until the contents of the pan are well-combined. Pour the liquid in bit-by-bit until you have the consistency you want in your sauce. You may need to add more than one cup of liquid, which is fine so long as you continue to add the liquid slowly and mix well as you go.
  8. When you have the gravy at the consistency you like, let it simmer for a couple minutes, then remove it from the heat. Spoon some of it over the chicken and garnish with some crushed sage. Enjoy!

the games we play August 14, 2008

Posted by Sonia in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, We don't have a cat.
4 comments

When I was visiting Providence and the Friends House, I played three games of serious note. One, I learned from fellow farm worker Rachelle. Another, I have played for a very long time. The third, I’d never heard of before.

Game One: Surrealist Poetry
Scene: Cafe Nation, Brighton, MA
Players: Roxy, Amandeep, Nupur and myself

Rachelle went to a surrealist ceramics camp in North Carolina and told me about this game they played to “free their minds” and “knock down boundaries” and etc. Basically, you have a sheet of paper. You write a sentence, and then write its opposite (you define opposite). A simple example:

I like dogs.
I like cats.

Then you fold over the first sentence and hand it to the next person. They write the opposite of the sentence there.

[fold]
I like cats.
I hate cats.

Then they fold over the previous sentence and pass it on to the next person.

[fold]
I hate cats.

The next person writes that sentence’s opposite.

[fold]
I hate cats.
You like cats.

And then they fold over the previous sentence.

[fold]
You like cats.

And then they pass it on. Continue ad infinitum.

This is what we came up with.

Round 1: started by Sonia. The order is Sonia, Amandeep, Nupur, Roxy.

I lounge in a parched desert.
You live in a cold city.
I play in a hot field.
I lounge on cold concrete.
He jumps off the hot grass.
She floats in the ocean.
He sinks in the desert.
She floats in the ocean.
He dives into the earth.
She shoots into outer space!
He is imprisoned in the center of the earth.
She is freed by the whole of the universe.
He is chained to the worship of nothingness.

I have to say, I find this one pretty interesting, because it takes lounging and working and pushes them to their absolutes — freedom and slavery. It does the same with nature/city — makes it the universe and, well, nothingness. Anyway moving on

Round 2: started by Amandeep.

She loves the smell of grass.
He hates the odorlessness of the sky.
She adores the smell of the earth.
He abhors seeing the sky.
He sleeps out under the starry sky every night.
She is awake every day in the sunshine.
They both sleep when it pours.
I wake when the rain stops.
You sleep in a blanket of fog.
I awaken in a place of clarity.
You fall asleep in a state of confusion.
We drift awake to find our clarity.
They fall asleep, counting their illusions.

Round 3: started by Nupur.

His silence is unbearable.
Their noises are exactly what she needs.
Our silences satisfy his wants.
The din frightens the tyrant.
A silence comforts the downtrodden man.
The music irritates the driven woman.
A poem spurs the drowning man.
The mystic inspires the muse.
The plebe stifles the silencer.
A king appeases his supporters.
The queen scorns her enemies.
The whore adores her friends.
The librarian loathes his enemies.

The best part about the one above is that Amandeep thinks the opposite of “whore” is “librarian.”

Round 4: started by Roxanne.

In the quiet of my soul, I am invincible.
The voice of your body leaves you vulnerable.
My mind’s silence brings me strength.
My heart’s screaming rends the tenuous ground between my feet.
My mind’s calm draws bricks under my feet.
The turmoil of the heart smashes stones.
Star quality builds bridges.
The ordinary dust erodes our links.
The extraordinary smoke breathes life into me.
You accept death by fire.
I drown you.
You breathe life back into me.
I will suck your life away with a kiss.

Game Two: Word Association
Same as above

I like this game a lot. It makes you realize what your quickest assumptions and stereotypes are. Amazing how many times we tied together “Sex” and “red.” Basically, someone says a word, and then the next person says the first thing they think of, and then the next person says the first thing they think of based on the previous word. Progressions like “sex,” “red,” “Brian Boitano” are not uncommon. Amandeep was sitting next to me and didn’t know any of the pop culture references I was throwing out :(

Game Three: Leah’s version of Peppercorn
Scene: The Friends House
Players: everyone who was over that night

The way this one works is there are lots of pieces of paper and lots of pencils. Everyone gets one of each. There are six rounds per game.

One: everyone writes down the name of a male person (it can be anyone you know or don’t know or even inanimate objects if you’re bored). eg: George Clooney. Then everyone folds over what they wrote and passes their papers to the left.

Two: everyone writes down the name of a female person (same as above). eg: Nupur Shridhar. fold over and pass left.

Three: a location. eg. Bulgaria. fold and pass left.

Four: an action, eg. painting easter eggs. fold and pass left.

Five: what person A says (basically, just any string of dialogue). “My, we’re having nice weather today.” fold and pass.

Six: what person B says. “Man, my pants are way too tight.” fold and pass.

At this point everyone is holding a very folded up piece of paper with an entire little scene on it. Unfold and read aloud to great delight. Roxy has all of them squirreled away somewhere, but some notable ones included:

Octavia and Ronald Reagan getting it on in a bathroom stall (sorry, Octavia)
Benjamin and Malka in Skip’s Pants saving Christmas
Leah’s Mom and Michael Wasserman doing…actually, I don’t even know what

Leah and Roxy and I deserve some credit for sitting in a row and managing to pull off some really hilarious scenes. This one is going to have to happen again somewhere.

Aren’t you glad I don’t bullet-point everything boringly like Ben Brown?

Massachusetts Round-Up August 12, 2008

Posted by Ben in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Some of this is true.
1 comment so far

She may have almost apologized – though if you look at the transcript, it’s clear she didn’t – however I feel it necessary to list some fun facts about Massachusetts to counter Sonia’s vicious anti-Bostonianism. Here goes:

  • Massachusetts is a Commonwealth, not a State. This is not a unique designation: Virginia, Pennsylvania and Kentucky are also Commonwealths.
  • Massachusetts is the only state (or commonwealth) in the Union which doesn’t have an eponymous adjective for its residents. We’re called Bay Staters, though occasionally we go by the technically incorrect but entertaining name of Massachuttans. This is actually a legally defined term: take a look at the Massachusetts General Laws, Chapter 2, Section 35.
  • All schnauzers who hold dual U.S.-Canadian citizenship are legally required to reside in Massachusetts. Out-of-state residence permits may be issued if the dog has a “demonstrated, substantial need” to live in another state. Historically, enforcement of this statute has been lax but since 9/11, the USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service has been cracking down.
  • A little bit about Boston’s Mayor Thomas Menino: A lifelong resident of Hyde Park, Mayor Menino is a graduate of St. Thomas Aquinas High School. In 1963, Mayor Menino earned an associate’s degree in business management and advertising and sales from Chamberlayne Junior College. In 1988, he earned a degree in community planning from the University of Massachusetts. Mayor Menino and his wife, the former Angela Faletra, have two children, Susan and Thomas, Jr., and six grandchildren.
  • Some quaint Massachusetts laws: Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder. Quakers and witches are banned. At a wake, mourners may not eat more than three sandwiches.
  • The post-apocalyptic erotic epic Sirloin: The Night that Ended after Day Began takes place in North Adams, Massachusetts. The film adaptation, starring Leonard Nimoy and Janel Maloney is one of only six films to have been banned in Nebraska by executive decree. The movie was filmed ouside of Amherst, much to the chagrin of the Williams College Film Club.

State Roundup!!1 July 29, 2008

Posted by Sonia in Hong Kong, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
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It’s that time again, folks. We live in a state — but did you know other people live in states as well? Even if you did know that, WHICH I BET YOU DIDN’T, you still need this handy little primer to the other states of the Union.

1. Montana
INITIAL THOUGHTS: Big Sky State. Sounds kind of cool, right?
WRONG!: There is nothing there but cows. Cows and dead cows and 14-year-old drivers.
ALSO: Wheat. I have some wheat from Montana. But that’s all they have there, really, it’s boring.
AND: Glaciers. They also have glaciers in a park and a huge amount of space and an enormous border over to Canada and hypothermia.

2. California
INITIAL THOUGHTS: Oh man I’m so way too cool for California. I will now generically hate on Southern California for being generic. I exude waves of mediocre dislike.
WRONG!: California is too cool for you. Do you know why Southern California is superficial? Because California is so WONDERFUL that NO ONE THINKS everyone just ENJOYS LIFE ALL THE TIME.
AND HOW: Enjoying life usually occurs by injecting your face with botox and your boobs with silicone, didn’t you know?
SERIOUSLY: It’s like California is the only place that remembers that appearances matter
SAN FRANCISCO: Did you ever wonder why Lindsay Lohan isn’t vomiting on the floor of Chez Panisse?

3. New Mexico
WHAT THE HELL: Is in New Mexico? All I know about it is something I read in an in-flight magazine that was about red sauce and green sauce on tacos.
RED SAUCE: sucks
GREEN SAUCE: is the man
LET’S ALL: move to New Mexico and eat tacos

4. Massachoosetts
INITIAL THOUGHTS: Oh what a quaint little state full of quaint clam chowder and picturesque revolutionaries jolly good
WRONG!: Boston is full of sorrow and overachievement.
CRAP I FORGOT THAT: Leah and Ben are both from Massachusetts never mind

5. Iowa
INITIAL THOUGHTS: Hmm, I guess there’s corn in Iowa, and probably some more cows, and hey, my grandfather went to school there. (frealz.)
WRONG!: No, actually, there’s no swift reversal. It’s true. My grandfather went to school there.
IS IT BETTER THAN RHODE ISLAND: No.
THIS IS STATE IS SO BORING THAT: I can’t think of anything else to say

6. West Virginia
FULL OF: Food Lions and Wal Marts.
ONCE I: went to West Virginia and went to a Food Lion and bought juice and the lady at the cash register told me that someone had bought groceries with a counterfeited $50 bill.
ERGO: West Virginia is full of meth addicts with nothing to do except forge $50 bills and take them TO A FOOD LION FOR CHRIST’S SAKE WHAT ABOUT THE GAP?!

Now you know all about the states! Stay tuned for next week’s installment: PLANET ROUNDUP.

Cheese or Oral Sex? July 25, 2008

Posted by Ben in Kitchen Confidential, Parliamentarian's Report, Question and Answer.
3 comments

Like a zen koan, the question shines a light on the deepest recesses of our personas, prodding us to enlightenment: “Which would you rather give up for the rest of your life: cheese or oral sex?” However, there are so many nuances to the question that I believe it Right and Proper that we should establish a set of Standard Rules governing the asking of this question. I propose the following criteria:

  1. The question only refers to giving up the receipt of cheese or oral sex, not its production. We hold this truth to be self-evident because if the provision of oral sex were denied by partner A to partner B resultant to A’s choice to give up oral sex, a negative externality would be created, reducing the impact of B’s choice on the same question, since B will no longer be receiving oral sex from A in any case. Likewise with homemade cheese.
  2. Vegans are right out. I don’t know what the vegan equivalent of cheese is, but until someone offers a satisfactory food product which is ubiquitous among the vegans and which many of them would be hard-pressed to forgo, it is patently unfair to offer the choice between giving up something they’ve already given up and giving up something deemed Good and Virtuous.
  3. Okay, well I can only think of two important nuances, but lists look better with three or more points.
  4. Wait…I thought of a fourth one: substantially cheese-like products such as quajada and that nacho sauce are included in the category of cheese and therefore verboten to those who choose to give up cheese.

Therefore, BE IT RESOLVED, that these four Statutes constitute the Standard Rules of the question of Cheese or Oral Sex, adopted by the Assembly this, the 25th day of July in the Year of our Lord Two Thousand and Eight.

I move the previous question.

living in the window July 22, 2008

Posted by Amandeep in Uncategorized.
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So, for those of you who have already been to the Friends House, this will not be news.  But for everyone else, I live in the giant window seat that stretches across the Friends House common room and faces the street.  Bum that I am, I still haven’t really unpacked my room, despite having moved in June 1st.  As a result, I, along with my laptop…and my sewing machine (sorry everyone!), live in the common room.

Living in the giant window, I get to see everything that passes by.  I can occasionally wave at people I know and just now was called to by a passing friend on a bike who knew to expect me in this window.  I always know when it is going to rain.  When it is hot, I am baked in front of the glass, and when it cools down in the evening, my window cools down first.

But one of my favorite things about living in the Friends House window seat is hearing the snatches of music blaring from the cars that pass and sometimes stop at the intersection nearby.  Much of it makes me want to laugh at the drivers listening to it, and some of it is just plain bad.  But occasionally, a car drives by playing a song that I once knew and haven’t heard in years that stirs old feelings and memories, and lifts me to a happy different place.  And I love that.  It is always unexpected and wonderful.

pepper July 17, 2008

Posted by Sonia in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
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I tried to post this in my own blog, seulalia, but wordpress has inexplicably misplaced it for the time being. I hope to get it back soon. In the meantime, I am posting this here.

Update: Now that my blog is back, I posted it there. but if you still want to read it, you can find it here.

Ironman 70.3 mile triathlon – outside of the Friends House July 14, 2008

Posted by Amandeep in Kitchen Confidential, Parliamentarian's Report.
Tags: , , ,
1 comment so far

Yes, you read that title correctly. Yesterday morning, the Friends House awoke to find what appeared to be some kind of race going on outside.

Upon further inspection, it was revealed to not only be a footrace, but the final leg of a triathlon. And it wasn’t just any triathlon, but one of the 70.3 mile (not kilometer, mile) Ironman triathlons.

Below is the last runner to come over College Hill, a little past 3pm, with a golf cart beside her and a police car behind her, holding back the cars eager to move down the road as it opened with her passage. She was a mile away from the end of a 70.3 mile journey. That’s f-ing amazing.

Incidentally, here’s the account of a fellow WordPress blogger that competed in the triathlon. Congratulations to him! He gives a full 2 paragraph description of our beloved Hill (in his words, ‘the MONSTER hill at mile 2 and 8′) and it’s trials. (from his post, ‘This was the hill that the X Games used for street luge when they came to town. Yeah. Seriously.’)

We have sympathy as frequent trekkers up and down its slopes.

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